Is your emotional stuff getting in the way of your business success?

Ally, a business coach with a go-ahead organisation, had been a sleepwalker since her childhood days. However, in the last six months the problem had become noticeably worse – and now she was feeling tense, tired and irritable...

Sitting in my office nursing a much-needed cup of coffee, Ally admitted that she was going through a busy time both at home and at work. As well as planning for her wedding in six months time, Ally had also received a promotion – and although both events were welcome, the changes involved were still stressful.

While stress can be a cause of sleep walking, it became clear during our conversation that there were others issues troubling her. Ally admitted that she was finding her job a strain – not because of the work involved but as a result of having to prove herself constantly to her male colleagues.

The only female partner in the practice, Ally felt that she wasn’t taken seriously and was becoming disheartened by the daily grind.

I asked Ally to name the work attributes that she had that her male colleagues lacked.

Firstly, she agreed that her ideas for marketing and customer service were more adventurous – and that time had proved that her ideas were effective too. Secondly, she admitted that she was very intuitive – and that time and time again her instincts about clients and projects had been proven correct. She was also able to put her intuition to good use when it came to recruiting new staff.

Chatting the matter through with me, Ally and I began to reframe her situation. Recognising that she didn’t need to compete with her male colleagues was an important break-through for her – as was her discovery that there were several areas in which her feminine strengths were definitely an asset.

She admitted that the practice’s senior partner had told her that she was being brought into the top team because she had unique gifts that would give the firm a competitive edge. And with a smile, she realised that the person who’d been giving her a hard time had, in fact, been herself!

Ally also admitted that while she loved her fiancé, Simon, she was concerned that when they got married at the end of the year, she’d lose some of her freedom.

Previously, she’d been in a relationship with a very controlling partner and she’d suffered a very unhappy couple of years. While Ally knew intellectually that Simon was a completely different type of man, emotionally she was still unsure.

Do you need to have any much needed conversations?

I suggested that Ally allow me to take her through a psycho-dynamic exercise, called The PEAR (Personal Enlightenment and Release) in which she’d have a much needed conversation with her previous boyfriend - in her mind’s eye.

I explained to her that the sub-conscious mind doesn’t distinguish between very vivid imagination and reality – which would mean that the exercise would feel completely real for her.

We got to work – and after Ally had expressed her anger, she then went on to make the decision to forgive her previous boyfriend, knowing that by forgiving him she wasn’t condoning his actions but was untying herself from the negative energy of the past.

Finally, in her imagination, she asked him to leave – knowing that when he did so, she’d be free to enter into a truly happy marriage with Simon.

Three weeks later, Ally was on the phone to me – sounding much more relaxed. As well as feeling better, she delightedly reported that she was enjoying better rest – with no sleepwalking activity – than she had for years!